


Looking Through Patient Eyes

by CassiaKiaya



Series: Six Working Together to Fight Evil [3]
Category: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
Genre: Anger, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:02:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26899387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassiaKiaya/pseuds/CassiaKiaya
Summary: Set after the events of Graven's vicious attack on Tommy and Jason. Kimberly is trying to help Tommy through his trauma but is struggling to keep him as the Tommy she knew and cared deeply for.
Relationships: Kimberly Hart/Tommy Oliver
Series: Six Working Together to Fight Evil [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1962658
Kudos: 1





	Looking Through Patient Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to HighffelFlower for pushing me into finishing this and posting this side story to this series. :-) My mind works in scenes, like clips from a movie. I envisioned a certain scene and wrote a story around it. Thank you for checking it out!
> 
> Also, there are mentions of possible suicide...please reach out for help if you ever feel lost. You deserve love.

"My parents bought me a new Jeep," Tommy said out of the blue.

Kimberly looked up from her science book and smiled at the news.

"That's great. You'll have to take me out on a date with it," she replied and gave him a wink.

"I feel awful about it," Tommy replied, not picking up on any of her positivity.

"I know. We had no choice," she said.

"I would have done the same thing. It just sucks that we have to do this," he said.

Kimberly noticed Tommy was staring off into the park's forest and fidgeting with his hands.

"Tommy, what's wrong?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around him.

His silence didn't answer her question and she hated it.

He wrestled himself out of her arm's grip and stood up from the picnic table.

"I was fine with all of this until I had to lie to my parents about how I almost died that day," Tommy said, to no one in particular.

Kimberly sighed. She's tried for a while now to help Tommy deal with his depression by the many methods that Billy researched at the Library. Nothing was working, not even close intimacy would break his shell.

"It's a part of the job. An awful part. I hate it too," she explained.

"But you weren't beaten until an inch of your life! You didn't wish to die!" Tommy yelled back in anger.

Kimberly felt a shiver of hurt and fear flow through her. He had never yelled at her in anger like that before. In fact, they hadn't had their first fight yet.

'Tommy, I'm sorry..." she started.

"Don't spout that sorry bullshit to me, Kim," he replied, putting such an negative sound to her name.

Kimberly was out of ideas. Maybe he should just get all of his anger out and he would be better. She knew she was shaking, but she stood up anyways, hoping to calm him down.

"Don't! Don't come near me!" he exclaimed. "I need to get out of here...I feel like I'm suffocating," he replied and started to walk away.

Kimberly almost ran after him but decided against it. She instead watched him walk away and sat back down at their picnic table, looking at all of his stuff splayed out in his chaotic disorganization. She couldn't help but feel a tear run down her cheek. She carefully gathered up all of his school stuff and placed it in his green duffel bag. She heard footsteps behind her and a rather large shadow fall in her view.

"Tommy got angry, didn't he?" said a guy's voice.

"Yeah. Jason, I don't know what to do any more to help him. He keeps getting angrier and angrier," she replied to the guy who sat down next to her on the bench.

"I heard him yelling at you. Just know that he's not angry at you or with you," Jason replied.

"But he's taking it out on me," Kimberly said.

"I know. I've done the same thing too, instead it was directed at my Mom," he said.

"Ahhh, so that's why you haven't been at the Youth Center these past few days after school," Kimberly replied.

His lips formed into a grin but then went back to concern.

"Jason, how are we going to fix this? We can always find a solution to anything we have to battle, but we're losing him," Kimberly wondered.

"He needs time and as much as you won't like it, he needs space as well. He'll have to work through this on his own," Jason responded.

Kimberly lowered her head on the table and felt Jason's hand on her back, consoling her. She didn't want to just leave Tommy alone. She wanted to be there for him and to show him that she was there to support him. Mostly, she was afraid of what he would do to himself if she wasn't there.

"Look, if it helps, we'll all keep an extra eye on him when we can but without him knowing," Jason said.

Kimberly lifted her head and did not make an effort to hide her tears.

"So we've resorted to spying on him?" she exclaimed and stood up quickly.

"Kim, that's all we've got right now until he breaks through this," Jason tried to reason.

"But what if he doesn't, Jason? What if he's broken forever and now we're just babysitting him so that he doesn't hurt himself or others?" Kimberly managed through more tears. 

She gathered her things into her pink backpack and grabbed Tommy's green duffel bag and walked off before Jason could respond. She wasn't sure where she wanted to go but she just needed fresh air. She felt like Tommy did as she was feeling like she was suffocating too.

She knew the communicators were to be used for Ranger situations only but she had to talk to someone who wasn't testosterone fueled. 

"Trini, where are you? Can you talk?" she said over the communicator.

Kimberly knew everyone would hear the call, even Tommy, but she didn't care.

"Yeah, I can. Meet me at the memorial rock garden," Trini replied.

'Great,' Kimberly thought to herself. The same memorial rock garden where she and Tommy declared their interest in dating each other and going to their first dance. Everything always brought her back to Tommy.

She headed through the park and saw a familiar yellow outfit in the distance as she reached up to the rocks.

"Trini, I love that yellow sun dress!" Kimberly gushed as she approached.

Trini recognized Kimberly's stress and went up to her for an immediate hug.

"What's wrong?" Trini asked her best friend.

"Take a wild guess..." Kimberly replied, solumnly.

"Tommy," was all Trini replied.

"Jason says I should just leave him alone for a while. Trini, he was so angry and he yelled at me like I didn't matter to him," Kimberly said, as the tears were coming back to haunt her.

"You matter to him very much but he's in a bad place and can't distinguish between the two lives he's forced into right now," Trini explained.

"What should I do, Trini?" was all Kimberly could whisper out.

"Kimberly, can I talk to you?" said a familiar voice from behind her. 

She looked up at Trini, who was eyeing at this person over her shoulder with a worried look on her face. As she slowly turned around, she didn't see the guy she fell in love with. She was looking at a guy who was obviously tortured.

"Sure, Tommy. Trini, I'll see you later," she said as she turned back to her friend.

Trini gave Kimberly a sympathetic look as they waved goodbye at each other before Kimberly turned her attention back to her boyfriend.

"Please walk with me," Tommy said and held out his hand.

Kimberly didn't reach out hers and he quickly pulled his hand back to his side. She did, however, started walking with him along the small creek. She wasn't going to start this conversation as it was not hers to start. She could hear Tommy's breathing was erratic until he took a deep breath before he spoke.

"Kimberly, I'm sorry for losing my temper," he stated.

"I don't know if I can just accept your apology like that so soon," she replied.

Tommy stopped walking and waited until Kimberly stopped as well. He slowly brought his hand to her face and caressed her cheek. She quickly pulled her face away from his touch.

"Kimberly, please! I'm sorry! I got angry and I took it out on you when I shouldn't have," Tommy pleaded.

"Jason said you need space and you need time to heal. I'm going to give you both because I can't handle the way you are any more! I've tried everything but I can't take this...consider this a break between us," Kimberly replied and ran off, leaving Tommy completely left in his emotions.

Tommy watched as she ran off but didn't stop her. She was right. He needed to figure this all out because he was taking it out on her. He knew he was very angry at what happened to him and knew he couldn't talk about it with anyone on the "outside." 

He walked to a secluded area of the park and didn't know what to do. A part of him wanted to practice a bit of karate and burn some energy and emotion that way. Another part of him wanted to just fall into the creek and let it take him under and never worry about hurting anyone ever again.

He opted instead to punching a tree and breaking a few bones in his hand, but he didn't care. As his hand swelled, he found the anger side of him rise again and knew he was slowly getting out of control.

"Fuck! I'm so sick of this shit!" he exclaimed.

"I know you are," a voice said.

Startled, Tommy turned to see Jason standing nearby.

"Jason..." Tommy started.

"Just listen to me. I'm going through everything you're going through...just not on the same scale because you endured more of his torture than I did. I went through the fear and not sleeping at night. I went through the sadness of having almost died at his hands and tools. And I'm going through the anger that rises inside me, knowing that I can't control it no matter what I do. I thought that throwing myself into normalcy would squash it but it kept coming on stronger and stronger until it finally has started to weaken," Jason explained.

Tommy looked down at his bloody hand and sighed.

"I also know that I'm hurting the ones that I love with all of this because I don't know what to do," Jason continued.

"Kimberly left me," was all Tommy could mutter.

Jason felt crushed but understood why she did what she did.

"Let's talk to Zordon. Maybe there is something he can do to help both of us," Jason suggested.

"Are you fucking nuts? Admit to Zordon that we're messed up?! He'll kick us out for sure! Say goodbye to being a Ranger, Jason!" Tommy exclaimed and ran off. 

He was not about to be put under the scrutiny of Zordon's judgement as he was chosen from questionable circumstances as it is.

Kimberly cried all the way home but didn't want to talk to her parents as to why she was so distraught, so she tried to cover up her sadness as best as she could before opening the front door.

She yelled out her hellos and headed up to her bedroom, her sanctuary. She dropped her backpack on her desk and stared at Tommy's duffel bag. She should have given it back to him at the park, but she was too upset to even think about doing something that simple.

She gently placed it down on her bed and sat down next to it. She knew she shouldn't snoop, but her nerves got the best of her as she slowly unzipped the opening. Inside were the school books and papers that she put in there but there was a couple other things that she didn't recognize.

A small journal with handrawn pics on the front cover and a library book titled "How to Heal From Physical Trauma." Kimberly quickly thumbed through it and stopped at a page Tommy must have left off at by folding the top corner of the page. She briefly read it's contents.

' _Acceptance of the event is only the beginning. You will relive the event with any given trigger: a certain smell, a noise or song playing in the background, even a particular color can exhibit a reaction. This will happen daily, if not many times throughout the day. The stress of anticipating this reaction will further the emotional damage from within. Continue to accept the event as past and slowly the triggers will fade but never completely.'_

Kimberly recognized those moments but never knew what exactly he was experiencing. One time, she stopped over at his house while he was out on the driveway fixing his parent's lawnmower. She noticed he grabbed a pair of needlenose pliers and immediately stopped what he was doing and just stared at the tool in his hand. He didn't say anything or move. Kimberly brought him back to reality with a simple "hi" but she never asked him why he did that.

She put the book down and focused her attention to the journal with the dark green cover. The drawings on the cover were rather innocuous: a few dragons and a couple of logos that he was designing for the karate studio he wanted to open. Kimberly's heart began to pound in her chest as she opened the journal to the first page. She knew this was his private life and he was entitled to have this privacy. She also knew that he needed help and maybe his inner thoughts would help her understand how better to help him through all of this.

The first page was dated the day he came home from the hospital with his parents.

_'I've never done this type of thing. My mom suggested it because she knows car accidents are scary and sometimes just writing out the pain helps. But it wasn't a car accident and I can't tell her that. I told her I would try it out but only that she would promise me that she or dad would never read it. She and dad gave me their word. We'll see how this goes as I know I need to tell someone, or in this case, something about what happened. I can't tell Kimberly about it as she would just worry about me. I can't do that to her. I care about her too much to hurt her.'_

The next entry came a couple of days later.

_'Everything bothers me. I had a panic attack when the bell rang for 2nd hour. Swimming class made me feel like I was drowning even though my head never went below the water. I couldn't eat as the smell of the metal ovens in the cafeteria's kitchen reminded me of the metal that surrounded me during his torture. I lied to Kimberly when she asked if I was ok. I hate lying to her but I have to or else I'll drag her down with me. I had a small talk with Jason about it but stopped when he mentioned how his bruises were healing. I still feel the tightness of the scars on my legs and they itch.'_

His entries were now being written every day and were detailing again how his triggers carried more and more throughout his day but a new pattern was emerging: one of anger.

_'My parents suggested that I go to therapy since they recognize I'm not 100% myself anymore. I told them that no therapy could help me and to just leave me alone. I ran as far away from home as my feet could take me. I didn't even grab anything. I just left. I spent the night in the park, making sure the occasional park ranger didn't catch me. Kimberly doesn't know I did this. I guess she called my parents when she saw I wasn't in school the next day. They didn't tell her that I ran away. They simply told her I was sick. No one can hurt her feelings but why are mine so easy to hurt? Why do I suffer like this? Shouldn't I just get over all of this and go back to being normal? What is normal, anyway? I'm a fucking Power Ranger who was almost murdered by an enemy and I'm suppose to go back to school like nothing happened? I'm suppose to just date the hottest girl in the school, practice karate, and hang out with my friends like it's all good here, nothing to see...I'm just tired.'_

Kimberly remembered that day like it was yesterday. She was easily convinced he was just sick when in reality, he was suffering. It made her sick to her stomach. She quickly dropped the journal on the bed and ran into the bathroom. She knelt down at the toilet and lifted the lid, ready for whatever was going to come out, but nothing did. She knew it was gross, but she turned around and rested her back against the toilet and placed her head between her hands.

Tommy walked back to the picnic table where he and Kimberly were working on their homework, retracing his steps to find his duffel bag. The table was completely bare, not even a pencil left behind.

A wave of panic went through his mind and flowed into his stomach. He pieced through images in his mind to see Kimberly standing there near the creek with the duffel bag in her arms. 

"Shit..." he said outloud and ran a hand through his unkempt, long hair. Hopefully she wouldn't be too nosy, but he knew Kimberly rather well. He just hoped she didn't read the last entry.

Kimberly splashed water across her face in the bathroom sink, not caring that it went all over the counter. She dried her face with a towel and went back to her bed, staring down at the journal.

'Curiousity killed the cat...' she thought to herself as she picked up the journal. She knew she should keep reading each one but she only focused on one entry...the most recent one.

This one was dated yesterday. It looked like Tommy wrote it very carefully and slowly, as if he was writing a fancy note or letter. At first glance, it looked weirdly ominous. The first line confirmed this.

_'I want to die. The pain has not diminished like the self-help book said it could. Jason is no help as he confessed he was feeling much better. His triggers maybe happen every other day and far few in between. Mine have not stopped, they have only gotten worse and I am very angry all of the time. I'm afraid I will take it out on Kimberly either verbally or worse. I refuse to hurt her but I don't think I could stop, even if I tried my hardest. It's not her fault but I snap at her like it is. She did nothing to hurt me but I treat her like she did. If I just end it now, she'll be sad but she can move on to someone who isn't damaged. She can move on, and I can stop hurting. I'll wait until Friday so that it doesn't interfere with her gardening club on Thursday.'_

Kimberly dropped the journal and stood up with fear. 

"Oh my God..." she cried out. "That's tomorrow!"

She knew she needed help that no one on Earth could provide. She brought her wrist up to her mouth.

"Zordon, can I see you? I need your help!" she announced with urgency.

"Absolutely, Kimberly," he replied.

She teleported to the Command Center and didn't waste a second of her time.

"Zordon, it's Tommy. He's..." she started before crying hysterically.

"I know, I've been monitoring him. His condition is not improving. It's almost like it's being accelerated," Zordon explained.

Kimberly looked at Zordon and it clicked.

"Could Rita be doing this?" Kimberly asked.

"Possibly, but it would require something that is in close physical contact because a spell that manifests stronger needs to be in constant contact," Zordan explained. 

Kimberly ran through his image of their last argument in her mind. There may be something but she had to confirm for sure.

"Alpha 5, can you find Tommy in the Viewing Globe? I need to confirm something..." Kimberly asked as she walked towards the Globe.

Tommy appeared before her in glass walking slowly in the park without much guidance or direction...just aimlessly as without purpose. She squinted her eyes towards the wrist without the communicator on it.

She grinned as her suspicions were correct.

"How do I break the spell?" she asked.

"You just have to remove the object from him, but I must caution you that he will fight it as that is the spell influencing him," Zordon explained.

Kimberly asked Alpha 5 to teleport her to where Tommy was and Alpha 5 wished her luck as she wisped away. She found herself close by to slowly approach as she knew he would be cautious since they separated only a couple of hours before. She felt nauseous again knowing that her giving them a break only added to his pain that he couldn't control. It probably fueled the spell even further. Did he update his plan and push it's ending even sooner? Kimberly was finding it hard to breathe but she needed to finish what she set out to do.

A cracked twig beneath Kimberly's foot caused Tommy to turn around without a second to spare.

"What do you want, Kimberly? You want to rub salt in my wound over our breakup? You want to tell me again how I deserve to be alone and suffer?" he asked.

Kimberly had to push this out of her mind as she knew it wasn't her Tommy talking to her. This was manifested hate from the spell. She couldn't take it to heart.

"No, Tommy. I want to help you," she said as she reached her hand out. 

What she didn't show was the pair of scissors in her other hand, which was behind her back. She was hoping his mind was too cloudy to notice what she was hiding.

"You can't help me! No one can! I'm better off dead!" Tommy exclaimed.

"No you're not, Tommy! Everyone who loves you needs you in their lives...especially me," Kimberly replied.

"Yeah, says the girl who pushed me away and then broke my trust by reading my private journal!" he yelled even louder and this time approached Kimberly until he was face to face, his height causing him to lean down, further intimidating her.

"I didn't...mean..." she stammered.

"You knew exactly what you were doing, Kimberly! You live to break my heart just as Graven broke my soul!" his voice echoed in her ears rather loudly.

It was now or never, she grabbed his wrist and with a swift motion, she brought the scissors out and carefully but quickly snipped the plastic hospital band that was around it. Tommy grabbed her wrists and his grip caused the scissors to fall out of her hands.

"Why did you do that?" Tommy exclaimed and gripped her wrists even harder.

Kimberly was sure there would be bruises there tomorrow, but she held on to the hope that soon this would be over. Sooner rather than later as she was very afraid.

She closed her eyes and wished for his grip to soften and his voice return to his calm but joyous tone. She didn't realize it but she was whispering "I love you, Tommy" over and over again quietly.

"I love you too, Kimberly," she heard him say calmly.

She opened her eyes as she felt the grip around her wrists loosen and release altogether. She looked up to see Tommy having backed away from her and falling to his knees. He buried his head in his hands. Kimberly joined him by wrapping her arms around him as she heard him start to cry.

"Tommy, it's okay. It's over," she said as she held him tight.

"No it's not okay. I was going to kill myself tonight," he said quietly.

This made Kimberly's heart hurt but she remained strong for him.

"I wasn't going to let that happen. Everyone needs you. I need you," she replied as she placed a kiss on his neck.

"I'm sorry," he said as he slowly lifted his head.

Kimberly looked in his eyes and felt his complete vulnerability in his stare. 

"I'm sorry we couldn't stop the spell sooner and...I'm sorry I read your journal," she admitted.

"If you hadn't, things would have probably played out differently and I wouldn't be here tomorrow. I can't be mad at you for that. You saved me, Kim," he replied.

Kimberly hugged him tight as he became silent. She figured he was probably weighing all of the emotions going on throughout his mind. After a few minutes, she felt him starting to move and figured he wanted to stand up, so she released her embrace.

"I knew this wouldn't be the cure-all but I'm glad I can finally begin to heal," Tommy said.

Kimberly wrapped her arm around his waist and instead of him tensing up, he melted into her embrace.

"I'm here for you," she replied.

"I know and we'll get through this together," Tommy replied and kissed her lips.


End file.
